Divorce Basics: Filing, Orders, and Mediation

Divorce is handled by state courts, and the process differs from one state to another. Some states require a waiting period before a divorce can be finalized, and some have residency rules for the person filing. The steps below describe the usual sequence, so you know what to look for and what to ask. They are not a guide to how any particular case will go.

Who can file and where

The person who starts the case is the petitioner, and the other spouse is the respondent. The petitioner usually files in the county where one or both spouses live, and the state's residency rules decide how long that must have been true. The county clerk can confirm the filing requirements and the forms used in that court.

Federal courts generally do not handle divorce cases. For background on how the court systems are organized, see the USA.gov courts page.

Serving the papers

After filing, the petitioner must formally notify the other spouse, a step usually called service. Service is typically done by a sheriff, a process server, or certified mail, depending on the state. The other spouse then has a set period to file a response. Missing that response period can allow the court to make decisions without that spouse's input, so calendar the date as soon as papers are served.

Temporary orders

While a divorce is pending, a court can issue temporary orders on urgent matters. These may cover who stays in the home, who pays certain bills, temporary spousal or child support, and temporary parenting time. Temporary orders are meant to keep things stable until the final decision. They are not final, but they can affect the outcome, so treat them seriously.

If you need help quickly because of safety concerns or because money is running out, tell your lawyer or the court right away. Some courts have emergency procedures for these situations.

Financial disclosure

Most divorces require each spouse to disclose income, assets, debts, and expenses. This is often done through sworn financial statements and the exchange of documents such as tax returns, bank statements, pay stubs, and account records. Incomplete or inaccurate disclosure can cause serious problems later, so keep records organized from the start.

How property is divided

States differ in how they divide property. Some are community property states, where most property acquired during the marriage is generally treated as jointly owned. Others follow an equitable distribution approach, where a court divides property in a way it considers fair. Property owned before the marriage, gifts, and inheritances may be treated differently, depending on the state. Retirement accounts and business interests often need special handling.

Gathering information early

Start a folder with your marriage certificate, recent tax returns, pay stubs, bank and retirement statements, loan papers, and a list of major debts. If children are involved, also keep a record of who has handled school, medical, and daily care. Having this information ready can make the first court date more productive and can reduce the work needed to prepare financial disclosures.

Mediation and settlement

Many courts require or offer mediation before a case goes to trial. In mediation, a neutral third party helps the spouses discuss issues such as property, support, and parenting. A settlement reached in mediation usually must be approved by the judge and put into a written agreement. Some couples settle through lawyers without a formal mediation session.

If the spouses can agree on the terms, the case may be uncontested. If they cannot, it is contested, and the judge decides the disputed issues after hearings or a trial. Contested cases usually take longer and cost more.

Questions to ask before you file

• Do I meet the residency rule in my county?
• What forms will I need, and what is the filing fee?
• What temporary orders should I ask for now?
• What documents do I need to gather for financial disclosure?
• Is mediation required in my court?
• How are fees charged in my case?

Where to get help

The clerk's office in the county where the case is filed can explain forms and filing steps, although clerks cannot give legal advice. Many state court websites publish self-help materials. If cost is a concern, a legal aid program may be able to help with some parts of the process.

For a private lawyer, our family law practice page lists family lawyers by city.

Frequently asked questions

Can I file for divorce without a lawyer? Many people do, especially in simple, uncontested cases. Consider a consultation before you file, particularly if children, property, or support are involved.

How long does a divorce take? It depends on the state, the court's schedule, and whether the spouses agree. Ask the clerk or your lawyer about the typical timeline in your county.

Is mediation mandatory? It depends on the court and the type of case. Check the local rules or ask the clerk.

What if my spouse ignores the case? The court may proceed without the spouse's response after the required steps are completed. Your lawyer or the clerk can explain the procedure in your state.

General information, not legal advice. Laws change and every case is different. Talk to a licensed attorney in your state about your situation.